Wednesday, April 6, 2011


You would have thought since I was pregnant, I would have been expecting a ring for Christmas.

I wasn't.

Up until that point it had been the best Christmas ever! Michael had given me a Dooney and Bourke purse, a watch, and lots of other things he knew I wanted. I NEVER expected them all.

My heart stopped when I pulled the little box out of the tip toe of the red velvet stocking. Please be earrings. 
Now don't get me wrong, I wanted to marry him. I just was not expecting this, and I don't do surprise very well.

My heart pounding, I opened the box. Shock is an understatement. I was  dumbfounded. The ring was beautiful.

The center diamond was a carat. He pointed that out right away, as if it mattered! Ok, it was awesome. The second and third band were full of smaller diamonds. Total, it was over 2 carats and I was in love! I had never expected something amazing.

For the next few years it was referred to as "The Ring". If we went out as a couple Michael had to meticulously clean it with a baby toothbrush and a polishing cloth, which made me happy because it was an extension of how he felt about me. He wanted me to be proud, as proud as he was. Proud of us. Of course, as a man he wanted to show off his buying power. What guy doesn't?

Over the years, I didn't give the ring as much thought. I knew I loved it, knew it was beautiful. Young cashiers at the grocery store often made comments as I was writing a check or signing my slip. But, it had been over 10 years! I was no longer dazzled daily by it's presence like I was in the beginning.

Last fall, cleaning up my kitchen I lifted my hand to look at something in it and my eye caught the most horrific sight. Four prongs staring at me. Empty. One was slightly bent outwards.

In that moment, I didn't even think. I just yelled for Michael and told him what had happened. He was quiet, which was strange for him. I immediately began sobbing. It physically tore at my heart that this stone was gone. The thing was, it wasn't necessarily about the monetary loss. Although that did suck. But it was about the emotional heartache of losing something that represented us. That ring had become a part of us. Our story.

And it was gone.

Let's be clear about one thing. Money priorities change drastically after ten years of marriage. The ability, or even desire to drop a few grand on a stone is just not there. If I had a lot of cash in the bank? Sure. But we don't.

So, as I type I am wearing a single gold band. It belonged to my father who passed away when I was ten. It's special, and I love it, but it's not "The Ring". The beauty is, nothing has changed. We are no less married, and no less happy. But it does make me sad.

I wouldn't describe myself as materialistic, I can rock a Target wardrobe like nobody's business, and with no shame. However, there are moments, when I'm meeting someone for the first time, that I miss it terribly. Especially if that woman has a beautiful ring. It's not that I want to show off, it's about Michael. I want everyone to know what he gave me. I want to show him off.

Oh well. I guess the solution is to get my damn wip finished and try to sell the darn thing. I have a feeling the first purchase for my husband would be a diamond, I'd probably let him. :)
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