We ALL do it. It's human nature. Is it healthy? My answer would be yes and no.
It's healthy in the sense that you have to compare to grow. There is no other way to gauge where you've been, where you are, and where you need to go without comparing your work in some way.
On the flip side, it can become a problem if you're not very careful. It can lead to severe frustration, dispair, or even arrogance. Is that a problem? Uhhh, if you're not really that good than yeah! It is a problem. What you might really need is a fat helping of humble pie. A little frustration isn't necessarily a bad thing though, it can motivate.
Last night I went to my writing group. There are 5 of us. I'm the greenest of the group. :) I'm cool with that. It is what it is. They are gearing up for a writing conference this weekend. I'm so very excited for them...I'm hoping something amazing happens for at least one of them. I'm hoping that the proverbial ball will start rolling. At the same time, it made me sad. I'm no where near pitching my wip. No. Where. I guess theoretically I could just go for fun and learning, but I'm not made of money, and I've got those three kids that need me...so until I'm a little closer to that place I'm going to wait.
As I sat there helping them prepare pitches, polish synopses and plan the hotel sleeping arrangements, I could have felt sorry for myself. Sorry that I'm not further along. I could have felt that I'm not good enough. But the whole situation was just a huge motivator. I'm channeling that envy into hard work, it's the only thing that makes sense! I'm thinking about all the hard work they've been doing for years to get themselves to this point and understanding that I need to plant my butt in front of this laptop every stinkin day so I can go next year!!
I think any creative endeavor...or anything at all for that matter requires a little comparison. After all, isn't that what were REALLY doing when we blog hop? We click onto a blog, and what were really looking for is ourselves!
Is she a mother too? She writes while nursing?
Oh, his wip is only half way done?
Oh good, she has trouble with grammar also.
She writes paranormal YA also!
He is now published after receiving 65 rejections...phew!
We are looking to compare. Looking for confirmation. We want to have that Jim Carey Dumb and Dumber moment....."So you're telling me there's a chance!"
We need to be constantly reminded that our dreams are possible. That we're on the right track. Our frustration and hard work may not be in vain.
Of course sometimes we just want to say, "ugh...bitch!" And you know what? As long as we keep it too ourselves, that's okay too. We are human after all.
5 weeks ago